Addictions

I don’t know if I’m hitting my sexual prime or what, but I can tell you that my sex drive seems to be in  a never-ending loop of wanting/needing sex.  Or cock.  Or being touched/fingered/fondled/devoured/etc.  For the past 3-4 months I am constantly wanting physical contact.  Many a date has been spent by getting fucked, and then spending the next hour curled up on the couch, resting my head in his lap while my hand clutches his exhausted cock.

Sometimes I am happy just being like that.  Othertimes I’ll nuzzle it, or stroke it.  Kiss or lick it.   Slap the damn thing around.  Anything that might bring it back to life.  And sometimes I succeed, and he seems aghast.  He’ll look at it, then look at me, with a very clear look of sheer exhaustion on his face.  He’ll give my leg a slap and get comfortable before saying “you’re riding this time”.

Though this makes it sound like I’m having sex all the time, all day every day, it’s not actually true.  I see V about twice a week, perhaps for a total of 40 hours.   I spend about 44 hours a week at work, another 40 sleeping, about another 6 at the gym.  Out of a potential 168 hours in a week, I spend maybe about 8 hours having sex with my boyfriend.  The other 38 hours (if not otherwise occupied) can be pretty sucky, since I’m pretty much sitting on the couch trying to not spend all my free time masturbating.

Though in my relationship I do get pain, I was served a hard dose of reality today.   I decided it had been a long time since I’ve used any of my nipple clamps, so I figured I’d pull a pair out and wear them a bit.  Grabbing the first pair my fingers came upon, I didn’t think “hey, it’s been awhile since you’ve done any of this stuff and these ones are some of the heavier duty ones, so maybe you should lower the tension settings a little and ease back into it”.  Rather, I stupidly threw them on.  My reactions can be easily summarized in two words:

bliss

followed by:

horror

It was an instant orgasm as they dug in, and it was delicious in the entire 30 seconds of its entirety.  But then something bad happened, being that it started hurting in the wrong way.  I fumbled to get them off, and after doing so I felt the ache.  And they kept aching, and kept aching … and even now, an hour later they’re still sensitive to the touch.

I’m not entirely sure what to do about this predicament now.  My stupidity lead to a wonderful thing:  many excellent orgasms.  But if the sensitivity doesn’t diminish by the time I see him, I’m sure he’s going to notice something is off-kilter.  Especially if he looks at them – damn they are red little knobs of anger.  I wouldn’t say that I feel ashamed of what I’ve done; it’s natural for me and something I’ve done many many many times in the past whether in the presence of partners or alone.  I guess my thing is that it’s something I haven’t really done since I’ve been with him, so I’m not quite sure how he’s going to react to “well I was horny, so I decided to put clamps on my nipples”.

Also, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed in myself.  My pain tolerance used to be SO much higher; can one year really have this much of an impact?  I never really considered the idea that it could diminish over time, though it’s quite logical since it increases along with practice/contact.  Just something that I never put much thought into.  Obviously something I will have to consider, granted the idea of the same effects with less impact isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Minimizing bodily injury is generally a good thing in my case, since one nipple is already less sensitive than the other from similar acts.  Non-random fact there for ya.